Full disclosure before I begin… this recap could either be awesome-good or awesome-not-so-good based on sticking around for “just one more” adult beverage after a work dinner. Good thing Dad was in charge of Caroline tonight!
And some of you may be getting this recap for the first time because I updated my distribution list with some more fun peeps that are going to join next season but I added them to the recaps now for the heck of it! Hope I don’t scare you off!
Programming Note: Next Week is the last hurrah of true shenanigans before the finale known as the Men Tell All. I’ve attached the template for the bonus questions. Don’t forget to complete this!! All total you could earn up to 50 points and as I’ve said all season – this is where the fun starts and it usually shakes up the standings so make sure you get these back to me because 50 points is nothing to sneeze at!!! And speaking of, those standing are attached, too – literally zero change among the top 10. **cackles gleefully waiting for next week**
RECAP
We’re in Thailand for “Overnights”! Side note, I always love when they do the old plane on the map animation to explain it’s a long trip.
Picture this: #TheBachelorette gets pregnant during fantasy suites week. There are 3 possible fathers. It’s a real life Mamma Mia and everyone sings ABBA.— Abby Wulf (@DatGirlAhBee) July 24, 2018
We start off with Becca recapping her relationships with each man:
Garrett – I’m in love with him but will he challenge me (translation: I’m not sure he’s the brightest crayon in the box)
Jason – He’s awesome, we have fun and stuff, he’s like my best friend (translation: he’s totally getting friend-zoned)
Blake – effortless connection, can’t imagine him not being in my life and I’m in love with him (translation: I can’t wait to jump his bones in the fantasy suite)
Blake’s Date
You said you love her 2 weeks ago and you plan to propose in 2 more weeks… that’s.totally.normal
Blake thinks it’s a positive that he is in the same place mentally that Becca was at this stage with Arie... is someone gonna tell him? #TheBachelorette— Rob Williams (@RCW_The3rd) July 24, 2018
They visit a Buddhist temple were they’re not allowed to kiss or touch each other and get advice from some sweet monks about honesty and love. True story, how cool would that be?
A no-touching, no-kissing zone is Blake's personal hell. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/2sAuvfeYB8— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) July 24, 2018
Blake: "That was a real monk."— Derik Velasco (@Dvel93) July 24, 2018
How often does he encounter fake monks?! #TheBachelorette
Blake looks for a reason to stay, not a reason to go. DAMN! That is one heck of a line! Melting now and it’s not from the Thailand heat!
I went from 0 to 100 for Blake in 12 awkward date minutes.#TheBachelorette— Patti Murin (@PattiMurin) July 24, 2018
The morning after Blake is back in his favorite place – his own insecure thoughts
“Is she kissing them and hugging them like she does with me?”— Caitlyn Buchanan (@buchanan_cait) July 24, 2018
Have you ever watched this show, Blake? Like, ever? #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/iBzrx5tgz0
I really don’t know how we’re all going to cope if Becca doesn’t choose Blake #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/KW06kH86QT— WildestDreams15 (@WDreams15) July 25, 2018
Jason’s Date
Trouble a-brewing during the day date wandering the city when Becca basically freaks out over a simple joke about home décor. Been there, done that (Sober editor’s note: I typed a whole possibly TMI breakup story paragraph here last night that has now been omitted. You’re welcome.)
Fun fact: "Oh my God, I hate myself" was the working title for #TheBachelorette.— Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) July 24, 2018
Simply put, she sends Jason home at dinner and then flings herself on the bed like a bad 50’s soap opera
you can really tell Becca's crushing hard on Jason through her cold and lifeless stare 😍#TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/gJVGnet2rI— Brett S. Vergara (@BrettSVergara) July 24, 2018
The good news is, getting dumped in 100% humidity is excellent practice for #BachelorInParadise. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/CuMWKKYp2m— Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) July 24, 2018
I am also starting to think Jason is in on the whole Joey Donner doppleganger thing. See above and below for my proof:
Garrett’s DateSo, he went with the white. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/RXuxopd7WG— Emily Longeretta (@emilylongeretta) July 24, 2018
Their adventure date is stand-up rafting down a river during some sort of National Sit-in-the-River Holiday??
This woman has life all figured out. #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/9qzWomriQV— Kristen Baldwin (@KristenGBaldwin) July 24, 2018
We learned how to say “Splash that white couple” in thai just for Becca and Garrett’s date. #thebachelorette— Bachelor Interns (@BachelorInterns) July 24, 2018
You know who knew about the Thai national holiday #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/B5v68RqhHT— Crystal McCullough (@CrysMcC) July 24, 2018
THERE’S A BABY ELEPHANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay if I was hanging with Garrett and there was a baby elephant just across the stream, I WOULD NOT BE HANGING WITH GARRETT ANYMORE#TheBachelorette— Patti Murin (@PattiMurin) July 24, 2018
Becca discusses her concerns about whether Garrett will challenge her enough
Becca: I want a man who will challenge me— Dana Budzyn (@DanaBudzyn) July 24, 2018
Garrett: struggles to formulate sentences/can barely read
Me: #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/i7V3weCKqG
Garrett after fantasy suite: ME LIKE BECCA, BECCA GREAT. WE HAVE GREAT NIGHT. GARRETT LOVE BECCA#TheBachelorette— Christopher Pickle (@PissCrickle) July 24, 2018
Oh wait, did Garrett just bring up his past relationship again? Color me shocked
Garrett: I've never felt this way before.— Emma Gray (@emmaladyrose) July 24, 2018
Chris Harrison: Um... you've been married?#TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/ZA67O0XkAM
The Least Dramatic Rose Ceremony Ever
Oh boy, first though, Jason needs a little more closure
Oh, Jason. #theBachelorette pic.twitter.com/wsWIj6yarI— Bachelor Burn Book (@bachelorburnbk) July 24, 2018
And by closure, I mean handing her a scrapbook to remember their time together?!?!
Jason: I brought you something#TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/hVIgHR1e2f— Betches (@betchesluvthis) July 24, 2018
We definitely didn’t make Jason return to talk to Becca just to make him give her the scrapbook we made. #thebachelorette pic.twitter.com/prLAvlu7Qa— Bachelor Interns (@BachelorInterns) July 24, 2018
The biggest lie The Bachelor franchise ever sold us is that dudes make scrapbooks, diaries, and picture frames on the reg. #TheBachelorette— Ashley Spivey (@AshleySpivey) July 24, 2018
And finally, Becca shows up to hand 2 roses to 2 guys
Live look in at Blake overanalyzing the meaning behind getting the second rose out of two #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/9y8yqmX79N— courtney (@26Cmg) July 24, 2018
Just 2 more weeks until the Finale! Praise be.
Pitch for #TheBachelorette finale:— Brett S. Vergara (@BrettSVergara) July 24, 2018
*Becca gets on one knee for Garrett*
“Will you accept this... TOMATO???”
*throws tomato at his face*
*Blake jumps out of the bushes*
*Becca gives him the final rose*
*They run off into the sunset*#TheBachelorette